THE PROBLEM WITH INSTAGRAM

Interesting topic right?? I have been using Instagram for over 4 years... I used to use it for health and fitness and then it became my photography. It was cool in the beginning. Posting photos of my travels, doing the hashtags, working with top bloggers in Germany and also having a free holiday around Europe being an Insta famous Bloggers Photographer. Free breakfasts, free hotels and incredible experiences. I used to spend over 2 hour's on Instagram a day. Worrying about how many like's a photo would get, if my followers were going up at a good pace and if my videos were getting enough views. If not, i would just delete it and try again at a later time of the day..

I was speaking to a friend who models, and she said she is over Instagram. She was doing what I did. Spending hours a day making sure posts "looked good" and how many likes and followers she got. She said she could feel how bad it was for her health! Instagram is so amazing, how we are able to watch people so closely. I love all the fitness girls I follow and able to see what workouts they do and then do the same when I go to gym. They also inspire me so much with the photos of food they post. Now i know that you can post whatever you want but I feel that some of the fitness girls are more real..posting photos slouched over,food babies and their " imperfections". People now have the opportunity to be seen more than ever and people are using Instagram more than Facebook and Twitter now. No one is posting feeling sad or lonely or cleaning their house or about the low times of their lives...which we all have. Its all about an illusion that people are creating! You see people buying their 10th car and you like i just budgeted my groceries for the week this is so sad.... 

What is the end goal with Instagram? I was excited when i got 10k followers and then 15k , 20k and then 25k followers. What is the final goal? It will never end. I had family down from Israel and for a lot of the lunch i was on my phone. I can tell you right now on your death bed you will never wish you had more followers or were more popular on Instagram.. It always seems like everyone else is doing better than you when everyone posts the best parts of their lives. I am guilty of looking at others Instagram pages and thinking why does everyone else seem to be having an amazing time when you have no idea what is going on in their lives. Alexis Ren once had a live video where she was crying saying that she is a human being too who gets sad and she missed her mother and people must realise that we are all human and we all have ups and downs.

Sure I still use Instagram but Instagram was making me actually sad and mostly frustrated.. Seeing photographers in Europe shooting and then wanting to be there too.. Seeing photographers posting work and then hating my own work and of course the banging fit bodies of girls who have had stuff removed and surgery to look like that..unrealistic right??

I want to spend more of my time talking to my friends and family, going for walks and reading a book. Everyone is trying to prove something. Whether that is having money, having fun or eating at a restaurant..

The fact that social media cause's depression is proven scientifically. The mechanism is very simple on Facebook, Instagram, etc., people tend to post only the highlights of their lives. Everyone is posting picture of fun times, vacations, good times with friends etc., while no one is posting the miserable aspects of everyday life. . Life is complex, everyone's life is rich of sad and happy moments. Some big moments, a lot of minor, less important moments.

So if you take a platform where anyone can self promote himself and post only the highlights of his life, do you understand what kind of distorted reality such a platform can depict?

There are more important things to spend your time on in the day and waking up and just having breakfast instead of taking in everyones posts every day. So give up being on Instagram so much and see family and friends or take a walk outside. Even make a list of the things you are grateful for. Remember that you are unique!No one is YOU! And stop comparing yourself to other's and cheer yourself on! Cut social media out and boom...cut out stress , anxiety and sadness..  Focus on your own success... Focus on the things that make you a better person..Focus on where you are going! Focus on the people in your life!

Big hugs!! 

THE ISSUE OF FEELING THE NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF

People pleasing... my biggest problem!

I so badly want to just say ," sorry i do not have the time at the moment." but instead,i will get into a 2 page letter as to why i cant right now and how sorry i am and what i am busy with at the moment and start going into my whole life history while Im at it.

A friend of mine told me something really special, he said that i am in control of what i do and say but how others react to what i do and say is none of my business. If i tell some one i dont have time (and i really dont) and then they are annoyed with me, that is not my problem. I will always try to make sure that when i dont have time for something that the person is also not annoyed with me and I'm sure you can imagine how time consuming that is and just ....pointless. People pleasing is an addiction that pleases no one! 

I am reading a book " The Art of Not Giving a Fu**" and also the TED Talk from the same author who says you need to put time and money into things that make you happy and fu** everything else that serves you no purpose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzjFQa_Og

When a model will ask me for photos from a shoot from 2 days ago i get so annoyed and again write a long message explaining why they wont be ready until next week and what i am currently busy with. After 5 years of sending the same messages to clients i finally realised its making me stressed and they will sometimes ask again in the next 24 hours. I have learnt that i was making myself  stress when i had the option to "ignore" or just say "hello, i will message you when they are nearly ready." Now when i say ignore i dont mean be an ass about it.. i just mean not spending 20 minutes of each day just replying to models about when their photos will be ready when there is no point of a daily update if the photos are not ready anyway.

I can be honest and say sometimes it has hit 2 or 3 months past the shoot and i am still not finished with the photos.. Photo-shoots are my only income so the paid photo-shoots will be done before the free photo-shoots..i need my gluten free sweet potato bread and kefir water.

I am trying to learn to be good to myself while being productive and NOT people pleasing.

This isn't about never doing anything for anyone else again. Its when you genuinely want to do something for someone and not when you're doing something just because someone else wants you to or you want to manipulate the situation. Learning the difference will help you make better choices for yourself. 

You need to value your time and your energy and also set boundaries. If you just say "no" its much better than doing something you dont want to do just to people please. There is only so much you can do in one day and you need to be clever with your time or you could be retouching photos for someone the whole day being annoyed that the only reason you are doing these photos before others is because they nagged you, People can WAIT.

I once did a photo-shoot for a client where we shot 40/50 outfits in one day (i was told 20) ..they talked down to me and asked me to hurry up with importing the photos and the cherry on top was getting fingers snapped in my face to "chop chop and hurry up". At any point i really wish i just said "listen, you are not respecting my work process i think its better you find some one else to do this photo-shoot for you"..But i did not and at the end of this shoot they told me the images were "unusable and any photographer would agree with them". They then said they would not pay me because they could  not use the images even though they used about 20 of the images on their online clothing store.. This could have all been avoided if i just said sorry but you can find some one else and not.. people pleased.

Another issue is feeling the need to explain yourself and what you are doing in your life. Your journey is unique to you and others journey's are unique to them.
People will always give you their opinion on your choices, your work and pretty much anything! Always do what works for you. What someone else does may not work for you.


so.. realise you have a choice, you have control over your time and you dont need to feel bad doing what works for you. Consider if something is worth it before agreeing to do it and realise that you can’t be everything to everyone. Life is too short for spending time and energy on things you dont want to!

WEST COAST ROAD TRIP

Some of our photos from the West Coast on the way to Langebaan and back trying not to get blown away..
Nothing better than the sunset on the West-Coast and the feeling of being free

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Ibiza

More photos from Ibiza staying at the Me Hotel Ibiza which is right on the beach. Capturing some moments on our way from Sol Beach House to Me Hotel in a colourful van.  Couldn't be more grateful for the incredible people i met here from all over the world.